This is Part 2 of a 2-part episode on hook up apps. Kimberly’s guests continue their conversation about why they use hook up apps, why the sex is often unsatisfying, and how they maneuver when there is no chemistry once they get in the bedroom. The women share that they often hold back their orgasms because they feel their hook up partner did not “earn” the privilege of witnessing their authentic orgasm. The go on to share that they “fake” orgasm to avoid upsetting the sex partner or hurting their feelings. This episode also includes a Sex IQ Quiz that you won’t want to miss.
In this episode Kimberly interviews three single millennials (one man and two women) about their experiences, opinions, and insights on hook up apps, such as Tinder, Bumble, and Hatch. They explain which apps for best for just hook ups; and which are better for people seeking more than just sex. They talk about sexual expectations, texting etiquette, male and female insecurities, and why they swipe right or left. They all admit to ‘ghosting’ and the motivations behind it. The ladies discuss “creepy vibes” and how they determine who they will meet in real life. They all agree that sex is less intimate than meeting people’s friends and families. Each guest shares their pet peeves and things they simply can’t resist.
In this episode Kimberly interviews a longstanding client about his sexless relationship and his ambivalence regarding his masculinity and sexual energy. He explains why he believes masculinity is inherently aggressive and predatory; and how his lifelong ambivalence about his masculinity made it difficult for him to express his erotic interests/needs in his relationship. He further explains how expectations (sexual and otherwise) feel burdensome to him. He recalls a story from his youth when a girl gave him ‘love notes’ at school and it made him angry and embarrassed because she ‘expected’ something from him that he could not (and did not want to) deliver. He candidly describes his ongoing struggles with intimacy and commitment. In her own special way, Kimberly facilitates an honest, compelling, and therapeutic dialogue that allows her client to share his sexual story with authenticity and humor.
In this episode, Kimberly interviews fellow sex therapist Dr. Shannon Chavez. They discuss how chronic illness (such as Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Thyroid Disease, and pelvic pain) and acute illness (such as Cancer) impact the phases of sexual response and affect emotional intimacy in a relationship. They also discuss how Autism, physical disability, and Aging bring their own unique set of sexual challenges; and how stigmas about each of these special populations may affect sexual health and satisfaction. Finally, they explore how early messages and beliefs from religion can undermine one’s sexual comfort and expression. Dr. Chavez calls this ‘spiritual trauma’ and describes how she approaches this in therapy with her clients.
In this episode, Kimberly interviews Dr. Hernando Chaves about his progressive approach to sex therapy and sexual health. The two certified sex therapists share some of their favorite interventions and describe trends in each of their practices. They discuss the impact of keeping secrets, different manifestations of consensual non-monogamy, and how understanding a partner’s love language can decrease resentment and improve communication and empathy. In addition to the interview. Kimberly also gives a Sex IQ Quiz on the neurochemicals Dopamine, Serotonin, Oxytocin, and Adrenaline.
In this episode, Kimberly discusses child and adolescent sexual development. She describes normative, predictable behaviors based on age and gender; and outlines red flags that could be signs of sexual abuse. She highlights how important it is for parents to begin a lifelong conversation about sex with their children to reduce the intergenerational shame and guilt that keep sex taboo in our culture. She shares personal anecdotes about raising her three sons and introducing them to biological, reproductive, and sexual concepts at developmentally appropriate ages. She encourages parents to use books (she recommends her favorites) to help them determine what to share and teach about sex at different stages. She encourages parents to use proper names for body parts and avoid cutesy or silly nicknames for genitals. She discusses the benefits of preparing kids for puberty and how their bodies will change. She also emphasizes the importance of discussing consent, contraception, sexually transmitted infections, and boundaries with tweeners and teens.